Some random ped: "Either I'm getting to Burger Shot, or someones getting shot!"

 

 

 

Cop: The dumbass is on foot(In a funny expression, as if ready to laugh.)

Edited July 29, 201411 yr by TmBB101

You're gonna fart out my d*ck son. - M_Y_COP_WHITE

I once crashed my police cruiser into a wall not a foot from a Fat Cop and he was like " OH SHIT I DONT NEED THIS TODAY" (paraphrasing) I laughed hard.

"Put the burgers in your mouth people." - Albert Einstein

I love that reptillian death ray one

"If you don't pull over, I will pull you over". 

"YEEEEEEEEELLLLLOW CARRRR!", or "MISTER MAN!". Niko trying to hail a taxi when drunk.

"Well it looks like my invisibility pills are working". When a taxi passes by Niko, he will sometimes remark this.

 

And of course "Cheesy Vaginas!".

 

Cheers.

"You effin' douchebag, you made me spill my lunch!"

"The best weed comes from British Columbia": Random street ped

Russian driver: "We understand your point, no more of this honking!"

Edited July 29, 201411 yr by GreenAid

Random ped to a hobo: "Is that f**kin' smell comin' from your pants?"

Edited July 29, 201411 yr by Cyron43

When Niko kidnaps Gracie Ancellotti: 

 

Gracie: "I'll scratch your fuckin eyes out!"

Niko: "Scratch my fuckin balls, bitch."

 

Niko when he is bowling:

"I suck at life, but I bowl like an angel!"

 

Packie and Niko talking about a thing:

 

Patrick: Locals are expecting a shipment[near the fish market]and it smells fishy.
Niko: The fish market smells fishy?
Patrick: Shit man, I keep forgetting that you're not from here. When some thing "smells fishy", it means that somethings not right. So the shipment smelling fishy means that it ain't going to be what they say it is.
Niko: But if it's going to the fish market then they're saying that it's fish.
Patrick: So?
Niko: So if it's going to be what they say it is, then it's going to smell fishy anyways.
Patrick: Shut the fuck up! You think you're a right fucking comedian, don't ya? Learn the damn language!

Not all peds runs away screaming when there's something going on.
Every once in a while you can hear girl saying, "Well finally some action in this town!"

Or a man saying, "Wow that's like in the movies yo!"

Patrick: Locals are expecting a shipment[near the fish market]and it smells fishy.

Niko: The fish market smells fishy?

Patrick: Shit man, I keep forgetting that you're not from here. When some thing "smells fishy", it means that somethings not right. So the shipment smelling fishy means that it ain't going to be what they say it is.

Niko: But if it's going to the fish market then they're saying that it's fish.

Patrick: So?

Niko: So if it's going to be what they say it is, then it's going to smell fishy anyways.

Patrick: Shut the fuck up! You think you're a right fucking comedian, don't ya? Learn the damn language!

 

loved that one :D

the best one to me was the hobo that said im gonna rip out your privates!

"I should probably do something about this." -M_M_Fatcop (I assume anyway).

I just heard something hilarious for the first time. So I was hiding from the police and as one of the cops was running past me I heard him say, "Ey, your mom's on the phone".

ROTFLOL

Edited September 23, 201411 yr by Cyron43

Surprised no one has said this one. 

 

Civilian: "I've got film equipment to return!" -smashes into everyone-

My favorite one was from that sanitation guy

"This is the apocalypse"

"It's world war 3, I knew it."

"Terriost terrorist"

"Stomp on my saggy balls."

LMAO!