LtAlien

How would i feel running over bambi? excellent. That's dinner for a few weeks.

Crimes against children are fucking disgusting, that's why.
Children can't defend them selves against grown people. A man can defend himself from another man. A child cannot. Children are too innocent. They can't physically defend them selves. They haven't learned what a grown person has learned. they don't know how to take care of them selves.
 

Sergiyj likes big dicks and his avatar is Justin Bieber? hehe
 
Ontopic: This is just another marketing ploy by Pornhub. I probably won't participate.
 
Mainly because I have a small dick and big dick porn makes me feel insecure. 
 

Just going to leave this here.

 
edit: Just noticed I misspelled "coffee". fixed*

We get it, you don't like ELS. 
 
 

What the fuck did they do...
 
Adding some gravy to op's mashed potatoes. 

UPDATE October 21 2015:
All development has ceased on this project for the time being and the projected future. This code is available for anybody to take and develop, and I would be very happy if someone were to continually make future verisons of this software available to the public for free. 
To those that do try and set this up for themselves, I don't really provide any support so you'll have to figure out PHP for yourself. It isn't THAT hard though. Just drag and drop the code files into your directory, create a database through cPanel or whatever you use, and then edit the /functions/connect.php first line to whatever your database is set up as.
 
UPDATE May 26, 2014:
 
The main Web Clan Dispatch System is available live at ivclan.tk. You'll have to put that into your URL bar yourself, as LCPDFR doesn't like .tk links (but thats what I get for using free domains). Thanks to Chamimnya, who graciously provided some amazing quality web hosting, the panel is very quick and dispatchers won't have an issue with loading times. I would say that load times are even faster than desktop-based dispatch programs. This has the obvious addition of having a centralized database where clans can record their patrols as well as user management. Website is no longer available. You need to set it up yourself. Sorry!
 
I do, however, understand that some clans may want some more privacy. I have decided to release the source code along with the published version so that users who want to edit my work can feel free to do so. Furthermore, I'm releasing this under the MIT License so you can do with it what you'd like. Download links are below:
Links updated October 21 2015. If they don't work, please PM me. 
Code: https://mega.nz/#!hhM0gLwa!iM8wXEvuMnxiZFACVnZZrjsNf0bkaSTlZMW1WrlIh3Q
SQL File: https://mega.nz/#!g5NXkCob!uIsRLOUIz1IzO8StFQeWKE2LAyWGJZM5jP5VaFIabEs
 
Files should also be available as an attachment in this topic.
 
You'll need to download both and import the SQL file into your own database. Make sure to set up connect.php with the proper database details. I provide very limited PHP help, so if you have an issue send me a PM no support, so please try and avoid sending me a message asking for help. If you understand PHP and need clarification on something I'll try and help, but I really can't explain PHP to people.
 
Have fun!
 
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I've been itching to do some programming so I've decided to make a web-based clan dispatch program that anybody can use. I'm nowhere near done yet, but I thought I'd share the idea and see if people actually want this (and put the proper amount of work into this). Here's a break down of what I have in store for this:
 
Clan System
Will allow anybody to register a clan Will allow clan chiefs to accept people into their clans and manage user ranks Dispatch System
Branches off the clan system, allowing each clan to use this as a dispatching programming In depth unit management (based directly off the users that are in the clan) Other things? I have never been in a clan, therefore I have no clue what dispatchers actually do or need. I've done quite a bit of work today and come up with a preliminary layout and design:
 
 
 
 
I'm going to continue working on this anyways, but do people actually want to see this? I've honestly got no clue if this would be useful or not. Anyways, if you have anything that I should add feel free to comment below.
 
Edit (April 18, 8:33pm EST):
 
I've finished up a few of the basic features including user & clan registration as well as a preliminary unit dispatch screen. Tell me what you think of it:
 
 
Clan Sys.rar
gtaiv.sql

The person who released this, and is actively working on this, "NTAuthority", is a pirate and had Activision send him plenty of DMCA notices. He made cracked call of duty multi-player servers for MW2, MW3, and Black ops. Now he's working on cracked multiplayer for gta iv. All of his call of duty projects were shut down because of activision being on his ass. 
 
He's found a way around all the legal bullshit now though.

So why is stealing mods bad but stealing a whole game's graphics isn't?
Honestly, stuff like this reduces chances of us seeing GTA V on the PC, and makes Rockstar think we're all just a bunch of pirates (which this is, this is piracy and copyright infringement).

This is part of the problem when people start converting GTA V's map though.  When people start converting the map from GTA V to GTA IV, all it does is reduces the chances that we'll see GTA V on PC as Rockstar will notice people like you telling them to go fuck themselves because they already have what looks like GTA V.

Wait a minute, He ran? What an absolute cowardly act. I can understand being scared of being arrested, but really? If i plowed into a damn day care I would be more concerned about the children than being arrested.

The guy responsible for this crash was a dick.
 
https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/vehicle-crashes-orlando-area-day-care-center-23262665
 
https://news.yahoo.com/1-child-dead-14-hurt-florida-day-care-233630219.html

Excuse me guys may I have your attention please? Thank you.....

NASA
NSA
Take the first 'A' out of NASA and you get NSA.
 
We're spying on aliens. 
 

I don't want to scare you guys. but that light in the picture, is actually an alien. aliens have been living amongst us for the past 30 years. How do I know this? Because I am a reputable, famous alien hunter. During my time in South America I witnessed many aliens land on earth, and take shape as humans. These aliens are extremely dangerous and to be feared. Why are they on earth? well, because they're looking for me. Currently at an undisclosed location I have 37 aliens under observation. One of those 37 aliens is a commander in the alien frontier. I'm not sure which one is the commander, but when I find out I will interrogate it and try to find out why they are on earth.. I probably shouldn't be telling you guys this, because it is extremely classified and frankly, you guys are just not 1337 enough to make "need to know" list.

Yeah that's a fairly infamous COPS episode. To give you all some background on this segment:

The guy being chased was a child molester that attempted to lure a kid into a closet with a $100 bill. He was stripped down to his underwear, and after arrest, he had to be hosed down by a fire truck because he had urinated and defecated himself. As the 2nd officer approached him to try and grab him, he took a swing and connected, hitting the officer right in the nose, but luckily the officer was able to get him into a headlock and keep him on the ground. Unfortunately, the suspect was able to bite the officer, and you see later in the segment that he did indeed penetrate the skin, so the officer needed to get tested for any diseases which is not something you see, obviously. During the struggle, more and more police officers show up. The shorter Asian one that shows up repeatedly punches the suspect in the kidney area, yelling at him to let go. Eventually enough people arrive that the officer who got punched is able to get up and walk away. He walks over to a nearby Taco Bell restaurant where the employees give him a cup of ice for his nose. The first police officer (the fat one who got tired of chasing the suspect) said that he actually had the guy in the back of his car, but he was able to kick out the window and run away, and that's how the chase started. The segment ends after a brief summary of what happened.

If you ask me, they weren't rough enough with him. The fat cop didn't do very much to help if you ask me, but it could have been because they were on camera. The Asian cop who kept punching him was the only one actively trying to cause the suspect enough physical pain so he'd let go. Bravo to the cop who got punched for taking the guy down and keeping him there. He's tough.

The noises he is making are fucking terrifying. LOL 

Sorry for the random question. I personally prefer the summer because of the the weather, it's spring here but its cold and gray weather (similar to LC weather) So, which do you prefer?
 
In the summer, I wait for winter so I can just lay in my warm bed while its cold. In the winter, I wait for summer because I miss it so much! But new years night was beautiful, the snow was literally sparkly And after winter, it's just a bunch of depressing mud

Summer. I love waking up super early on a summer morning, watching the sun come up and drinking a cup of some good good coffee.
 
then i take off my pants and furiously masturbate.

Heres the car - http://gtapolicemods.com/downloads.php?do=file&id=460

Well said. 
 
I must admit, I kind of like it.

I was just browsing Policecanada.org and saw this monstrosity. 
What the.. fuck?

 
Ever seen this before? If so, do you know what its called? 
I kind of like it, but its also really ugly at the same time.
 

You're right. i'll leave it open, but obviously, if it gets heated i'll request it to be locked as anyone should.
 
I played hockey for 3 years, and one of the rules were if you had a problem with a player, you could push and grab but not throw punches, 
 
and anyone who does follow the NHL, would know the NHL has been trying for some time now to end the violence in the game, lol.
I love me a good hockey fight, my favorite fight ever was emery vs holtby. that shit was the best! 

I guess I missed this earlier..
 
"If you were a real hockey fan"?
 
What exactly makes someone a real fan? I kind of want to know so i can step my game up. I already watch any Canucks game I have time to watch. I go to Vancouver giants games regularly. I have tons of hockey sticks and hockey gear in my closet. hell, I played hockey for a few years until an injury. I also own a number of jerseys. I've been watching hockey my whole life.
 
You're telling me because I didn't enjoy watching a bunch of grown men fight in front of children at a charity event It makes me not a real fan. alright. 

nah, asking to have a mod close this, because I have a feeling it could end up being a hostile argument, lol. I try to avoid that. I'm all fine with a fight in an nhl game, those guys are payed for that, but these guys are police and firefighters, at a charity event, I just didn't think it was a great idea to do under the circumstances.