When I hit a beggar in the stomach- *in a cheerful, almost laughing manner* "Hey hey, what a day I love this shit."
I first came across this when I was one of my city cleanup drives where I lure the filthy LC beggars to the subways by hitting them hard and cross the tracks with them chasing me and the train crushing almost everyone of them to death. Its hilarious. Some more from beggars when I hit them:
"I'll rip out your privates!"
"You're gonna be laying my eggs!"
"Dat ass of yours is too big!"
"Mommy, I'm so sorry for killing you, mommy!"
"Mommy, you said you were inside that man?"
"Hehe! Ass wiping time!"
"I'm gonna take you out and then I'm gonna french kiss ya!"
Beggar when witnessing a shocking incident: "Fuck, where am I?"
Beggar when witnessing a shocking incident: "I don't have any bananas!"
Beggar when witnessing a shocking incident: "Is there a doctor in the house?"
Beggar when witnessing a melee fight: "I wanna see arms removed!"
Some random punk around a street corner on his phone, "I totally understand dude, but he tries to make out with me when he's drunk".
Old man to a hot passerby chick, "Can I crash into those airbags?"
Trucker/biker stuck in jam, "Get movin or I'll rip you out, fuck you in the ass!"
When you hit a car, the Spaniard guy shouts, "NO! I just fucking stole this fucking car."
I find state troopers the most hilarious cops in all of LC police force.
When chasing a perp, "Lets dance, fucktard!"
When responding to a shootout/leaving cover to run towards the armed suspects, "I'M GOING FOR GLORYY!!"
Idling on police radio, "So let me repeat your message- blah blah blah blubblubblubblubbleh!"
Idling on police radio, "Ever used a walkie-talkie, stupid?"
Idling on police radio, "Dispatch, repeat. I can't understand a goddamn word."
Idling on foot, "I'm a cop, and you're a dickhead."
Jamaican woman stuck in traffic,"D, motherfucker D. D as in 'Drive'"
Jamaican woman stuck in traffic, "This your fist time driving stick, motherfucker?"
Manhattan rich lady to other in a seductive voice, "Everyone in Liberty sells their soul to the devil."
Normal cop on radio, "Heheh! Oh all.. all women like me."
Normal cop on radio, "Heheh! So what do you look like, peaches?"