So when I am playing with a friend on GTA IV with lcpdfr (which I understand is unstable in multiplayer) and I crash, I have my friend send me a invite when I was the host. When I accept it, I get the starting a new game text and then the line going through it gets slow and then it says "you have been disconnected because your computer is running to slowly. that is not the case because when I start a session, I go right in and can play with almost no lag. I don't know why this is and can someone help me. This also happens if the other person is the host and he crashes and I send him a invite, the starting new game message slows and then goes to your computer is running to slowly.

This is a very common issue and as you have stated it is not because your computer is running slow.

 

Unfortunately there is no solution for this problem. If this occurs, you just have to start a new game.